Second, by writing this book, I can understand my own life changes a little better.
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Third, I would like to help other kids learn that there are ways to deal with changes that could happen in their lives, too. Separation and Divorce Before my Mom and Dad got separated, I didn't know they were even talking about it. I was surprised when they told me. I thought when they were talking with each other, and they looked real serious, they were talking about normal stuff.
When I found out about the separation, they told me together. I'm glad they did it that way. On my Dad's last day at home, which I'll never forget, I felt very, very, very sad. I remember everything about it. My Dad felt sad too. He had to move to a different town and live with my Nana.
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After one year he moved closer to me and now lives in an apartment in the next town from me. The ride to his house is only about 10 minutes away from where I live with my Mom. After they were separated for a while and lived apart they decided to officially get divorced. That means that they went to court and a judge signed a paper. This was a big Life Change! Giving Things Up After my Mom and Dad got separated, my Mom and I moved into a new house where we couldn't have a dog unless we owned the house. We rented our new home so we had to find a new place for our dog.
Her name is Chloe. I felt upset, sad and sort of mad that Chloe couldn't live with us anymore. She now lives in a different town in a house with our friends and their children. We still get to visit Chloe once in awhile she officially still belongs to us , so that makes it easier. I didn't want to give my dog away but we couldn't live in our new place if we didn't. I miss her but I'm getting used to it now, and I found out that I can be okay without Chloe.
Sometimes you have to give something up when Life Changes! These are all things that changed in my life.
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But there were lots of things that did not change. My Dad is still my Dad. My Mom is still my Mom.
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My Nana is still my Nana. My Gram is still my Gram. I had finally found the thing that I loved doing, and now I had to make room for something else—someone else—and that would supposedly make my life complete? Maybe I knew even then that the idea of completeness is dangerous. I occasionally wonder if my not having children has made me open to experience in ways I might not otherwise be.
But caring for a child demands a specific focus, for years at a stretch. My runway of opportunity was a straight shot, for weeks, months and years. I could say yes to almost anything I wanted to do. Every yes meant I met a new set of people, a new set of friends. And with every yes, my world got a little bigger.
I have never given life to another person. I have friends of all ages. They soon became my little outdoor family.
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No matter what Edith Piaf tells us, no one gets through life like that. Reedy, Ph. All the positive reinforcement, self-esteem boost, and motivation gained from the compliment are lost as soon as 'but' is uttered," explains Adelle Cadieux, a pediatric psychologist at Helen DeVos Children's Hospital. Every parent wants to believe their child is a genius in the making, and having high academic expectations of them can help them do better — up to a certain point.
Put all the emphasis on grades and achievement and it will backfire, making them do worse in school, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
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Aside from the fact that we usually say things we later regret when we're angry or frustrated, staying calm also models for our children how we want them to behave. This is especially true for parents of kids who tend to get easily upset," explains Timothy Gunn , a licensed clinical psychologist. When it comes to getting kids to eat a healthy diet, the science is clear: Focus on the benefits and delicious taste of healthy food, not on negative perceptions of their weight. Commenting at all on weight only worries kids and hurts their self-esteem, according to a study published in study published in Eating and Weight Disorders.
Telling kids a food is healthy backfires big time, say researchers from the University of Chicago. Instead of focusing on nutrition, kids assume that anything healthy will taste bad and reject it. Want your kids to polish off their broccoli? Tell them how yummy it tastes and how much fun it is to eat it. On a bad day, you may see yourself as an ugly fat slob, but your child sees you as the most beautiful, amazing human who has ever lived — and they want to grow up to be just like you.
So when you criticize your body, not only are you denigrating someone they love, you're teaching them to feel the same way about their bodies, say researchers from Notre Dame.
Even if your child doesn't respond by saying, "And you're okay now," that's probably what they're thinking. Your children will model their behavior based upon yours — if you're not educated enough to explain to your kids why taking drugs is dangerous, don't give them tacit license to use because you did," says Dennis Poncher , author and founder of the support group network Because I Love You. They need to know it is okay to feel happy, sad, angry, or whatever.
Besides, we would never tell an adult to stop crying, so why should we say it to children? Telling them that it isn't invalidates and shames them for their emotions. Not only are they then upset about the original issue, but they're ashamed or embarrassed about how upset they are on top of that.
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These comments never ever help anyone — children or adults — actually feel better or calm down," explains Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD, director of early childhood training at Ramapo for Children and Founder of Little House Calls. You can never get through to a child when they're throwing a tantrum. Instead, the best thing to do is remain calm yourself, don't take the bait, and be patient while validating their feelings," says Denise Daniels, parenting and child development expert and inventor of Moodsters. It's easy to get annoyed and brush it off, but you should take it seriously," Daniels says.